“How are you?”
“Sitting.” Or “standing up”, depending on how I am.
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If you studied Italian, and went to the central or southern regions of Italy, you wouldn’t understand a single word of what you’ve studied!
Believe me, sometimes even popular Italian quiz shows, make questions on the meaning of the single words in a certain regional dialect…
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And in some movies or TV series in which -for plot reasons- they speak a dialect, there are italian subtitles running.
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“How’s it going?”
“Thanks”
Those damn Zürcher…
I usually answer “fine” if the question is just for courtesy, but if it’s from a relative or a close friend or a colleague, the answer might change. “Shitty” is an option, for example 
but I often go for “meh”.
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This is an option for Germans too: 
“Wie geht’s”?
“Danke” (short for “Good, thank you for the question.”)
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Bavarians are subtitled in German television sometimes too… 
