On Mixnmojo forums, KestrelPi is sharing monkey-island-related texts created by/with GPT-3.
The generation of a “sarcastic back of the box blurb” caught my eye and I wanted to see what it’s possible to accomplish playing with the AI parameters a bit.
The results are particularly interesting because the AI doesn’t have any information about “Return to Monkey Island”: the training data cuts off in 2021, before the game was announced.
Here is what I got, some of them are small gems:
“Return to Monkey Island is the best game ever made. I can’t believe I waited so long to play it. The puzzles are so hard that I can’t even solve them, and the story is so convoluted that I can’t follow it. But that’s okay, because I’m just here for the monkeys. They’re so cute!”
“Oh, ye want to be a mighty pirate, do ye? Arrr, ye think ye can just sail the seven seas, plunderin’ and pillagin’ as ye please? Well, think again, matey! Return to Monkey Island shows ye just how hard it is to be a pirate. With hours of mind-numbin’ puzzles and tedious fetch quests, this game is sure to test yer patience. So put on yer best eye patch and get ready for a long, frustrating journey!”
"It’s the early 1700s and you’re the world’s most notorious pirate, Guybrush Threepwood. You’ve just returned from a long sea voyage to find that your arch-rival, LeChuck, has taken over the Caribbean!
Now you must find a way to stop him before he enslaves all of the pirates in the tri-island area! But it won’t be easy, because he has a voodoo army at his disposal!
So put on your eye patch and get ready for some high-seas adventure, because it’s time to return to Monkey Island!"
Sigh Another day, another tropical island to explore. I can’t help but feel a little bit bored with my life at this point. I mean, don’t get me wrong, it’s not like I don’t enjoy going on wacky adventures and saving the world from certain doom on a regular basis. It’s just that, well… I guess I’ve just seen it all before, you know?
But no matter, duty calls! I suppose I should be grateful that my arch-nemesis LeChuck has decided to kidnap my one true love Elaine Marley yet again, giving me another chance to save her and defeat him once and for all. Just another day in the life of Guybrush Threepwood: Mighty Pirate!
“The great thing about being dead is that you can finally get some rest. But for Guybrush Threepwood, death is just the beginning of his adventure. Return to Monkey Island is a hilarious, heart-warming tale of undead pirates, voodoo dolls, and one man’s never-ending quest for booty.”
In a world of monkeys, there is one island that is the most monkey of them all: Monkey Island! Join Guybrush Threepwood, the mighty pirate, as he returns to this magical place in search of adventure, excitement, and bananas!
This game is not for everyone. If you don’t like monkeys, or islands, or pirates, or bananas, then you should probably just move along. But if you do like those things, then boy oh boy, do we have the game for you! Join Guybrush as he returns to the one place that has it all: Monkey Island!
"Return to the Caribbean for more swashbuckling adventures with the lovable idiot, Guybrush Threepwood! This time around, our idiotic hero must save his wife from a life of eternal servitude at the hands of the evil pirate LeChuck.
Featuring more puzzles that will leave you scratching your head until your scalp bleeds, more witty repartee that will have you rolling your eyes until they bleed, and more monkeys than you can shake a stick at!"
"The third and final installment in the Monkey Island series. Finally, the developers have seen fit to give the fans what they want: more of the same! That’s right, more of the same! If you loved Monkey Island 2: LeChuck’s Revenge, then you’re in for a treat with Return to Monkey Island!
We’ve brought back all of your favorite characters, including Guybrush Threepwood, Elaine Marley, and the voodoo lady! And we’ve packed in even more puzzles and pirates than ever before!"
“What do you do when your life is a complete mess and you have no idea what to do next? Return to Monkey Island, of course! In this hilarious adventure game, you’ll help our hapless hero, Guybrush Threepwood, as he tries to figure out what the heck he’s supposed to do with his life. You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, you’ll probably throw up a little in your mouth. But most importantly, you’ll have a blast playing one of the funniest adventure games ever made. So come on down to Monkey Island and join the fun!”
“Lose yourself in another world of intrigue, mystery, and monkey business with the latest release in the Monkey Island series. Return to Monkey Island brings you back to the Caribbean for more swashbuckling fun and excitement. With new graphics and updated gameplay, you’ll be transported back to the Golden Age of Piracy. So put on your eye patch and raise the Jolly Roger, it’s time to set sail for adventure!”
“Oh boy, another Monkey Island game! Just what I always wanted! Another opportunity to control the bumbling Guybrush Threepwood as he blunders his way through another hilarious adventure! I can’t wait to spend hours trying to figure out obtuse puzzles, and being frustrated by arbitrary gameplay obstacles! This is going to be great!”
"Welcome back to the Caribbean, where the sun is always shining and the rum is always flowing! Join our intrepid hero, Guybrush Threepwood, as he sets out on another adventure to save his one true love, Elaine Marley.
This time around, our plucky hero will face even more peril, more puzzles, and more monkeys than ever before! So strap on your pirate hat and get ready for another round of fun in the sun!"
"You’re not the only one who’s getting old, you know. We thought it was time to give you a break from your busy life and take you back to a simpler time. A time when pirates ruled the seas, and monkeys were the funniest thing around.
"Return to Monkey Island is the latest in a long line of products that will take you back to your youth. It’s an adventure game that’s easy to pick up and play, and will keep you entertained for hours on end.
“So what are you waiting for? It’s time to Return to Monkey Island!”
“Welcome back to the Caribbean, where the sun is always shining, the rum is always flowing, and the monkey is always… wait, what happened to the monkey???”
"What fun! A return to the Monkey Island franchise! This time, you get to be Guybrush Threepwood, everyone’s favorite wannabe pirate!
Wannabe because, let’s face it, he’s not a very good pirate. He gets himself into all sorts of scrapes and never seems to come out on top. But that’s okay! You’ll love playing as Guybrush as he bumbles his way through Monkey Island!
Join Guybrush as he sets sail for another adventure! This time, he’s in search of the fabled Treasure of Monkey Island! But beware, he’s not the only one after the treasure!
You’ll have to outwit, outsmart, and outdrink your opponents if you want to be the one to find the treasure! So what are you waiting for? Pick up a copy of Return to Monkey Island today!"
What do you do when your life goes from being a swashbuckling pirate to a boring old governor? If you’re Guybrush Threepwood, you go on another wacky adventure! In Return to Monkey Island, the fifth installment in the popular Monkey Island series, Guybrush must find a way to escape from the clutches of his arch-nemesis, LeChuck. With the help of his trusty sidekick, Elaine Marley, Guybrush will battle his way through hordes of zombies, pirates, and other assorted baddies. So put on your adventuring hat and get ready for some monkey business!
"Return to Monkey Island is the game for people who want to relive the glory days of LucasArts adventure games! You’ll be transported back to a time when point-and-click was king, and you’ll be able to explore an island full of monkeys!
The gameplay is simple: just click on things until you figure out what to do next. There’s no need to worry about complex puzzles or challenging gameplay, because this game is all about taking it easy and enjoying the ride.
So come on down and return to Monkey Island today!"
Oh, you’re back! We were just wondering what took you so long.
It’s been, what, ten years since you last graced us with your presence? But who’s counting, right?
We’re sure you’ve been busy, what with your new life as a successful pirate captain and all. But we missed you, oh boy did we miss you!
And now you’re finally here! Just in time for another round of monkey business on Monkey Island!
So pull up a barrel and stay awhile, because it’s going to be one wild ride.
“I’m so glad to be back on Monkey Island! I just love the smell of monkey in the morning!” - Guybrush Threepwood