Sounds more like “War of the Worlds” to me. So maybe we should make an audio drama from these story(ies?) first …
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So is anyone but me getting @tasse-tee’s Rick and Morty reference? 
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No, because I haven’t watched the show. 
Whoever took my paper container. It´s gone and I can´t find it!
Paper container? Like a box for storing paper? What a weird thing to steal 
Isn’t a “paper container” a box made of paper? 
Ohhhhh! Now I don’t know. Halt the recovery operation!
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No, I mean the trash can for paper.
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Resume the recovery operation!
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Slow down there, you´re closing and reopening the case faster than the X-Files!
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But don’t one want to get rid of it? So if it’s missing you should be happy about it: You don’t have to empty the trash can yourself! 
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And for any further paper you need to dispose of, you could become like that guy who eats paper for entertainment.
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Donald Trump? Doesn´t he only eat incriminating evidence, though?
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I think I was thinking of that dude from Friends.
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So I´m sitting here, paper piling up wearing my barely glued up glasses, yay me! But at least I make an ace curiously terrified pirate. 
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You shouldn’t see these little things so negative …
… then go out! There is this thing called “nature”. It’s more thrilling than Netflix. Well, that’s what I heard from a friend. But it seems to be very interesting out there …
That’s a sign of creativity and you are able to handle confusing situations!
Setting a new trend in glasses design!
(Everything is a matter of the viewpoint.)
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What are you doing to make all this paper pile up? Are you hammering away on a typewriter then dramatically ripping it out and screwing it up? That’s my preferred fantasy 
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Well, then I don´t want to change anything about that!
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Now I’ve been thinking about the X-Files episode, Milagro, mwahahaha.