(Seriously: I’m thankful for each correction and/or hints. So I use the opportunity to thank @PiecesOfKate and @tasse-tee! )
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You know, you could include me there too. I´ve corrected you before and I mean what´s so different about me than…oh wait…sometimes I forget I´m not english.
It’s weird that your quote marks don’t default to apostrophes.
^^ I think he might be a bot
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In that case: Yes, thank you too!
I think that I’m able to write correct German (well, mostly) - if that’s what you mean. 
You mean Milan’s misuse of the acute accent: ´ ?
That’s what I think too…
I was assuming it was the quote mark key, but yeah maybe.
On a German keyboard are three “single quote marks”: ` ´ and '.
` is the acute accent
´ is the grave accent
Both are meant to be used as an accent over a character, like á. The apostrophe for “it’s” is this: ’ (the same you use). Then we have the double quotes: ". All other quote marks have to be entered with a special key code.
Milan is using the grave accent. This is common in Germany, but wrong (from a typographic point of view and at least for German texts). I don’t know why many people use the accent, but a lot of Germans do this.
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We use the simple apostrophe ’ for everything 
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Even for direct speech?
In my case it´s the key position. The way I do it, it feels less awkward to type.
That is because I am not using my phone. On the browser I have no auto correct or complete.
Maybe I should just start talking like Data and not use contractions anymore.
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Oh I see, interesting. Do you just press the accent key before the letter you want to apply it to?
You could. It’d probably be more awkward when it comes to possessives though. Just don’t talk about The Revenge of LeChuck. Or The Run of Logan. Or the sex toy of Scully.
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Oh, apparently I’m a ‘model of generosity and mutual appreciation’. Thanks Discourse! 
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Oh, you got the emphatic badge? You get that when you got 500 likes and gave at least twice as many.
I wonder who helped you with that…
No the empathetic one. I haven’t been dramatic enough yet for the emphatic one 
Sorry, I’m mean.
How dare you. I earned it all myself.
Can I pay you in bananas this week?
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And I´m still somewhat tired…(but in that case it was a classic “false friend”, actually)
And yes, at the rate I make my sandwiches, I think I need bananas* more than money this week…
*you can see how off the track I am when I have to count the "an"s in that word to write it correctly…
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Yeah, I know 
There’s a category for that on QuizUp. I’m shit at it.
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I’ll be installing that now.
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Yes, exactly. But in practice it’s a little bit more complicated: Usually you press ´ and then the program waits until you press another key - for example the a to get á. If you would like to get only the accent character like in Milan’s posts, you have to type ´ and space (*). Usually. But in most cases the Germans are using a keyboard layout “without dead keys”. If you activate this layout, the keyboard generates the single accent ´ by pressing the key ´. This is especially useful for developers because some programming languages are using the accents as an important syntax element. And it is less confusing for new or less experienced computer users because each key press generates a character on the screen.
(*) the Unicode standard recommends U+00A0, a non-breaking space.
To get the apostrophe ’ on a German keyboard you have to press [shift] and # together.
Here is the German keyboad layout (standard type T1):
The apostrophe is left to the Enter key, both accents are left to the backspace key.
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And I always use my right pinky to press the accent that I use for the apostrophe.
To do it right I´d have to press shift with my left pinky and then press the button for the apostrophe and that is to me more awkward to type.
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Oh right yeah, that’s like on UK keyboards if you need to print a character with an accent - except you press e.g. alt-e for acute, then the e to combine the two.
Wow, that’s faffy. I guess it’s not needed in German though(?)