I know how to make the air smell.
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You need to plan a few years ahead to make homemade whipped cream.
First I bought a farm. Then a bull and a cow.
They produced little cows that grew bigger.
I fed them grass and stuff, so they produce lots of milk later.
I milk them, separate the fat from the milk to produce the cream.
Then I beat the **** out of it using a whisk and added a bit of sugar. *
Alternatively you could whip the cows before milking them, but that seems a bit crude.
I used the manure of the cows to grow wild strawberries in a forest and hunt them down in autumn/winter. *
Actually, they weren’t that big. There’s lots of different types of strawberries that grow in different times of summer. Of course they are cultivated one way or another, but still they’re grown on full soil, outside.
* C’mon, guys. Of course I started from natural cream in a bottle and strawberries from the store. What do you think? But I take pride in manually beating it with a whisk over using a mixer. And yes, I turned the bowl upside down over one’s head to check if it is done.
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I´m really diggin’ all this unnecessary violence!
I said that because as a child I used to go in the woods with my parents to pick up the wild ones, that are usually quite small here, but very soft and sweet. Now in my grandfather’s garden my uncle managed to bring the wild ones, and then we have them at our disposal for months during springtime.
Is that what the kids call it these days?
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Only the cool kids! 
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Yes, particularly that young rascal Bergman.
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You prepare for a grill party by frying your guests heads to coal black cinder? Seems like a plan!
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Oh, so they are not huge swarms of flies attacking the heads of the guests …?
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Are you implying ema’s friends are shitheads? 
That’s what you are saying. 
Maybe they have special flies in -uhm- wherever they are…
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Something with white onion, red onion, garlic, red pepper, and mushrooms.
Oh hey, it´s Gazorpzorpfield! But where are the human arms on his head?
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Currently cooking a Vietnamese beef curry.
Just made the mistake of licking my finger after cutting the chilli 
I keep meaning to get one of those metal soaps. Does anyone use those? Do they work?
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No, but I’ve heard that they work if you believe in it.
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What are those, don´t think I ever heard of metal soap?
German:
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I’ve never heard of them either! 
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