Bad Pirate Jokes

What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday?

Aye Matey!!



One in Spanish:

En una obra de teatro un niño le pregunta a su padre:

  • ¿Por qué le tiras tierra al pirata en los ojos?
  • Porque el pirata ha gritado: ¡tierra a la vista!
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Why does @tasse-tee envy the pirate on wheels?

Because he does a rolling ahrr.


:joy: :clap: :clap:


Welcome back! :slight_smile:

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A Pirate Captain walks into a bar dragging behind him a steering wheel tied to his testicles. The barkeep gives him a drink and says “What’s with the steering wheel?”

Yar, it’s drivin’ me nuts!

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(btw: Do we have these Larry test questions for new forum users? More and more of our posts aren’t suitable for kids as it seems … :wink: )

What does a pirate with a computer? He is pressing the “Enter” button …

English galleon, Caribbean Sea.

“Sir, pirate brigantine at starboard!!”

“Let’s engage it!!”

“Oh, wait sir… the brigantines are three!”

“Don’t panic man. That’s why my uniform jacket is red. I might stain it with my blood, but I will fight till the end!!”

“Oh, captain, sir. More ships approaching. It’s an entire pirate fleet”

“Don’t panic man. That’s why my uniform pants are brown…”


So, there was this bakery that had this really bad rodent infection and…

Oh, sorry I thought this was abouot pie rat jokes!


Three goddamn bloody stupid men enter this really shitty awful bar that I hate so much and…

No, sorry…this also isn´t about irate jokes…

I was just about to make a joke about a rat running in a circle - a pi rat. But then I decided not to post it.

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Your face isn’t suitable for children…


@Someone seems to be really concerned for that obviously huge focus group of kindergarteners and schoolkids that are into 30 year old p´n´c adventure games. :thinking:


Yeah, they seem to be more into parodying songs, replacing any given lyric with the word poop, than reading this forum.



Indeed. I have a gun license for it. :stuck_out_tongue_winking_eye:

Absolutely right! And don’t forget the many kids @ZakPhoenixMcKracken has introduced (and will be introducing) to TWP!


TBH I don´t think I could possibly even be half as potty mouthed as the average 12 year old, but that may be just fuckin´me…:man_shrugging:


:ransome: Hey, watch your fuckin’ language!

Well ex-fucking-cuse meeee!

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I will tomorrow, with six 9yo boys (including the one which already knows TWP)

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