Good idea for a thread I have a really good one that I love to tell people. But maybe I’ll save it for a bit and post a few others first.
The bar of chocolate
This is a true story my mum told me about her friend - let’s call her Ruth.
Ruth was on a train to the Midlands. She had packed a kitkat, a magazine, a bottle of water, and lined them all up on the table in front of her. She settled in and started reading the magazine.
A few stops down the line, a man boarded and sat in the seat opposite Ruth. She thought he looked very respectable - like a professor or something. She continued reading.
All of a sudden, she sensed a hand reaching across the table towards her. Peering round the magazine, she watched with dismay as the man slowly peeled open her kitkat, took out a finger of biscuit, and ate it.
She was so intensely shocked that she couldn’t move. She returned her eyes to the magazine and quietly fumed in utter disbelief. The man got out a book, reached across and snapped off yet another piece of chocolate.
Ruth was filled with rage. Her heart was racing. She set the magazine on the table and looked at the man. He glanced up, she opened her mouth to speak, then he went back to his book. This went on for a while.
Eventually the train neared Ruth’s stop. This coincided with the man going to the refreshment carriage and returning with a doughnut on a plate. Right, thought Ruth. She collected her things and headed for the door. As she walked past the man she stopped, grabbed the doughnut and took a huge bite out of it, while glaring insanely into the face of the man.
When she got off she found her kitkat in her bag.