I know! In fact I was always baffled by this.
“Wie geht’s?” “Danke.”
Danke what?!?
Zurich was a strange place.
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I’ve heard it the other way around. 
“Hallo” has to be a region specific thing or it was used in the past: A relative has the “next generation” of my school book and there is “Hallo” replaced by “Hello”.
Actually if we focus on the pronunciation of “Hallo” and “Hello” then “Hallo” has to be correct? Because “Hello” would be pronounced “Hillo” like in “He” or “Him”…?
Can you remember if your grandparents used Hallo? If not, it seems to be a region/local thing. That would explain why @tasse-tee has heard of it.
These greeting formulas are stuff for another question. For example somebody told me not long ago that if I ask “How are you” and the other person answers “I’m fine” then he means actually: “Go along, you *beep*”…?
Yes, I’ve never seen it since I left the school. But I have to read American papers and texts mostly.
Hm… I’m sure that we learned that term in school, but I haven’t used it. Maybe our books were outdated. I really have to find them on the attic…
Ah, that’s a German thing. We tend to “shorten” the answer or give a funny answer. If you ask us “How are you”, then “Thanks” is the short form for “Good, thank you for the question.” Here in the Rhine-Ruhr area it is common to answer just “muss” (= “it have to” = “I have to live with my 24 diseases, we had to euthanize the dog and my wife has an afair with my best friend - but everything else is fine, I can’t complain”). I know, that makes no sense. But we use the short versions only if we are familiar with the other person.
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Doesn´t surprise me that how do you do is considered old fashioned, because of course that´s what we learned at school to say!
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Never heard that before. I know in vienna if you ask “how are you” the standard answer is “awful”, even if it´s not meant that way.
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I’ve heard it often but not regularly - and only between friends. (edit: In the northern part of Germany.)
Don’t you have in Bavaria (similar) abbreviations? “Schleich di”, for example? 
That can be used in a lot of ways. Probably most common as an expression of disbelief (also “geh weider”).
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Or ‘hello’ as in ‘hell’. Comparing pronunciations in English never works because there are few consistencies
Nope, they didn’t. I’ve heard of it and seen it written but not really heard anyone use it. It could be a result of varying accents I guess.
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Ah, found it - you have “Jo, mei” in Bavaria 
(video in German):
Um, what? Americans definitely write and say hello, pronounced /hɛˈloʊ/. Unless with hallo you confusingly meant hello with a schwa, as in /həˈloʊ/? In that case it’s more of a contextual thing.
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Hallo and Hello are both pronounced as /hɛˈloʊ/ - that’s how I learned the pronunciation of “Hallo” at school.
Jo mei, d´Gruabarin wor a scho amoi besser.
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I think maybe you learned English from Norwegians?
http://mylittlenorway.com/norwegian-lesson/hello-and-good-bye/
I learned French from an Italian Argentine, so was always confused when watching actual French movies with native speakers.
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N-Grams here. Looks like hallo has pretty much always been more popular in British English than in American English.
You can also see relatively recent but clear evidence (no more than a century old) of attempts to transcribe the aforementioned schwa-pronunciation if you include hullo.
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Future World is the first metal song I’ve listened to (well, if you ignore Vivaldi’s third movement of Summer) 
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German power metal much(I think you mentioned something else before)?
Danke to the d**k (the proper answer in Italy)
Yes, me too. How do you do, I remember it, but I went to school more than… err… 5 years ago… 
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Praise the penis?
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when a thing is obvious, self-evident… in a vulgar way we say: “thanks to the d**k”
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